I read this in my book last night:
"God is looking for spiritual fathers and mothers who know who they are in Him, who will go into the darkness, look for lost children (spiritual orphans) of all ages, and bring them home to the Father's house."
-Compelled by Love: Heidi Baker
I wrote this in my journal on June 15th 2011:
"To show the Father heart to the Fatherless! To heal broken/hurt hearts and give them a heart of sonship.
God has been showing me so much about the Father's heart, and about the importance of walking in the truth of being a child of God, and the freedom that comes from that truth. It was through several days of talking about the Father heart, at church, with friends, at lifegroup that I felt Him lay on my heart that part of my personal vision statement or mission is to show the Father heart to the Fatherless.
It was Sunday when I saw the story of the Prodigal son in a whole new way, in such a real way. The son left his father and did things to shame him and hurt him, and when he came back his dad didn't say I'm glad your home but you have to work with the servants because you did bad things. Until Sunday, I sometimes viewed my past and my relationship with the Lord that way.
I felt that yes God forgave me and loved me despite my sins, BUT still I had the feeling that He still wanted to punish me. Like because of my sins I still wasn't worthy enough to 'live as his child' but I had to work as a servant in his house. I felt that eventually I would be punished for my sins. But on Sunday I felt like the Lord really showed me His Father heart that he has for me. And that he holds NOTHING against me!"
Last Night I had this Revelation:
Last night at church I was worshipping and saw one of my close friends as she was worshipping the Lord. I had a small vision/picture in my head of wanting to pray for her and the feelings that would come from me praying over her. I felt an overwhelming sense of love and protectiveness over her. This got me thinking about how it has been prophesied over me that I will be a spiritual mother to many...(Meguell & I will have many spiritual children). And I love this, and I believe we already have this! But last night after seeing this, I realized I want to walk out in that more! That is when I felt the Lord tell me TO DO IT THEN!! Sometimes I feel like we may know our "calling" or things we are supposed to do, but we are waiting on the "right time" to start walking out in that! Well last night I felt like the Lord was like stop waiting and start walking!
You see lately in my life I realize that when I go places with my friends or at church I have gotten lazy and selfish and go into things wanting to get from it. Like I never want to give of myself. Sometimes I am standing in case people need prayer and I think "please don't come to me." I don't know why this is, this is not who I am! But just being honest this has gone through my head sometimes! Well the Lord convicted me and spurred me on last night! I felt like he told me I need to stop being so selfish and start loving people! I need to go into a place loving on people, asking how they are doing, desiring to pray over them and speak words of encouragement over them!
I felt like he gave me a vision of becoming a spiritual mother for our college ministry! So hey I'm game!! Plus I feel like this step will also send me into walking in the other gifts I know the Lord is calling out in me, but I haven't known how to walk out in them! I feel like making this change will allow me to walk out in all of this! That is freedom ministry and the gift of prophesy!
So here I am Lord....I'm ready to walk out in my destiny!! I'm tired of waiting....HERE I AM!