Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Pin It
I leave for Mozambique early tomorrow morning!

I cannot wait:

1) To get to the place I have been thinking about for months! To see it and see all those beautiful kids. To see the Lord's glory fall, to love on people and to be changed forever!

2) To see my hot husband! :-) I have been skyping with him, but I cannot wait to hug him and hold him!

My biggest prayer for this trip is that nothing will stand in the why of me getting the fullest of the Lord and the fullest of what he has in store for me! I don't want my selfish ambitions or anything else to make me miss what the Lord has planned! So please be in prayer for total surrender to him!

Also, we will have some internet access to you can follow our trip through this blog!

Enjoy & talk to you in August!

Pin It

Friday, July 22, 2011

6 Days to Mozambique!!!

Pin It Only 6 more days! I can barely contain my excitement! I don't even know what to write other than that I am ready!

Also! We got the keys to our house today! yay!! We will move in LITERALLY the day we return from Africa! ha get ready for a crazy month of August!
Pin It

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Momma Who....?

Pin It
I read this in my book last night:

"God is looking for spiritual fathers and mothers who know who they are in Him, who will go into the darkness, look for lost children (spiritual orphans) of all ages, and bring them home to the Father's house."
-Compelled by Love: Heidi Baker

I wrote this in my journal on June 15th 2011:

Vision Statement:
"To show the Father heart to the Fatherless! To heal broken/hurt hearts and give them a heart of sonship.

God has been showing me so much about the Father's heart, and about the importance of walking in the truth of being a child of God, and the freedom that comes from that truth. It was through several days of talking about the Father heart, at church, with friends, at lifegroup that I felt Him lay on my heart that part of my personal vision statement or mission is to show the Father heart to the Fatherless.
It was Sunday when I saw the story of the Prodigal son in a whole new way, in such a real way. The son left his father and did things to shame him and hurt him, and when he came back his dad didn't say I'm glad your home but you have to work with the servants because you did bad things. Until Sunday, I sometimes viewed my past and my relationship with the Lord that way.
I felt that yes God forgave me and loved me despite my sins, BUT still I had the feeling that He still wanted to punish me. Like because of my sins I still wasn't worthy enough to 'live as his child' but I had to work as a servant in his house. I felt that eventually I would be punished for my sins. But on Sunday I felt like the Lord really showed me His Father heart that he has for me. And that he holds NOTHING against me!"

Last Night I had this Revelation:

Last night at church I was worshipping and saw one of my close friends as she was worshipping the Lord. I had a small vision/picture in my head of wanting to pray for her and the feelings that would come from me praying over her. I felt an overwhelming sense of love and protectiveness over her. This got me thinking about how it has been prophesied over me that I will be a spiritual mother to many...(Meguell & I will have many spiritual children). And I love this, and I believe we already have this! But last night after seeing this, I realized I want to walk out in that more! That is when I felt the Lord tell me TO DO IT THEN!! Sometimes I feel like we may know our "calling" or things we are supposed to do, but we are waiting on the "right time" to start walking out in that! Well last night I felt like the Lord was like stop waiting and start walking!

You see lately in my life I realize that when I go places with my friends or at church I have gotten lazy and selfish and go into things wanting to get from it. Like I never want to give of myself. Sometimes I am standing in case people need prayer and I think "please don't come to me." I don't know why this is, this is not who I am! But just being honest this has gone through my head sometimes! Well the Lord convicted me and spurred me on last night! I felt like he told me I need to stop being so selfish and start loving people! I need to go into a place loving on people, asking how they are doing, desiring to pray over them and speak words of encouragement over them!

I felt like he gave me a vision of becoming a spiritual mother for our college ministry! So hey I'm game!! Plus I feel like this step will also send me into walking in the other gifts I know the Lord is calling out in me, but I haven't known how to walk out in them! I feel like making this change will allow me to walk out in all of this! That is freedom ministry and the gift of prophesy!

So here I am Lord....I'm ready to walk out in my destiny!! I'm tired of waiting....HERE I AM!

Pin It

Friday, July 8, 2011

Your Strong Love

Pin It
"Death nor Life nor Angels nor Powers....
Present things or things in the future...
Height nor Death nor any created thing...
...could separate me from"

Sometimes life can just grab ahold of you and throw you all over the place...
That is how I feel the past few weeks have been.
I have just been going about my business, getting things done.
I still feel like summer has yet to start, and hello...
we are two months in!

With going home, work, and class: summer has been very busy!

Plus I have not been to church in the past week and a half...and I can tell!

I sat down today and realized wow...I have just been going and doing,
I haven't even spent any time with my Father....

And O how I need that time!
Time to bask in His goodness...
In His Love for Me!

And ask Him to show me His Love for Me!
To show me His plans for Me!
To pour more identity into Me!

One thing I am so happy He has taught me though can be found in the words of this song.

"Your Love it's written on my heart....and there is not a flood....that could quench this Love!"

I know that even when I have neglected to spend time with Him there is nothing I have to do to gain acceptance with Him! There is nothing that can separate me from the love of MY FATHER!
Pin It

Thursday, July 7, 2011


Pin It
The song Wonderwall by the group Oasis which came out in 1995 reminds me so much of my big brother.

I still remember being in our childhood house and this song playing on my mom's giant stereo that we had and my brother singing it very loudly. Along with other songs, this one reminds me of him, just hearing the guys voice singing it remind me of how my brother would sing it!

I miss him so much! It just doesn't seem right or fair that he isn't here anymore. I mean we are supposed to grow older together, to have traditions that we make with our own children, him and Cassey!

Sometimes when my friends are telling me stories about their siblings, I let my mind wander as they talk and selfishly I think, "Wow do you have any idea how it feels for someone so close to you to just all of a sudden be Gone....someone you knew so well and spent such a big and important time in your life with....someone who you love so much even when they get on your nerves :-)...." It's just not right to have to say bye to your brother at such a young age.

I think one of the worst things is going home and driving by the cemetery. It is between my mom and dad's house and also a lot of times the way that I drive home, so I pass it often. Anyways though, I know plenty of people have seen their name in a cemetery, but growing up we weren't close to the Billingsley side of our family, so it is not normal to see my last name "Billingsley" on a head stone. But every time I pass by I cannot help but to glance over and my name just sticks out at me! MY BROTHER'S NAME on a headstone! That is just NOT RIGHT!

Then on the way to my dad's this past weekend, as we passed the cemetery Ashtyn says, "Bye Daddy..." I mean I am glad he knows that is where his dad is, etc, but it is still just not right that he has to know his dad as being a headstone at a cemetery! HE IS FIVE for goodness sake!'s just so hard sometimes, and doesn't make sense at all.

I guess I just needed today to vent a little about my feelings---thanks for listening,

Pin It

Sunday, July 3, 2011


Pin It Have I ever told you how great my sister is? She is about the BEST thing ever!!! Pin It